When We Hold Out On Others

Have you ever felt suffocated, completely and utterly overwhelmed, heart-stopping motionless when it comes to being around people? Small groups, larger groups, even one on one?

Interacting with others can often put me in a state of distress. Truthfully, it is more so what they might be thinking than their actual physical presence. I rather swiftly come to feel uneasy and bog myself down with a whole caseload of “what ifs”. This has the potential to be exceptionally crippling, mentally so.

I have experienced this since I was a young teen, maybe even earlier in life. Because of this, I am very selective in who I allow myself to be comfortable around. Certain people’s personalities just click with me, put me at instant ease. Those experiences are far and few between though. It is not necessarily at the fault of others that I cannot connect and unwind. More often it is something about my life that my mind does not allow it. Even for those select few I have connected with, it still takes me time to completely let the castle doors open. I may let them safely cross the moat but really letting them all the way in is a different story.

Can you relate?

Here is the deal. What I have learned is sometimes we have to come out of behind those walls even when we really don’t want to. Even when it feels beyond uncomfortable.

We need to ask ourselves, “what are others around us missing out on when we insist on holding back?”. Not only are we holding back ourselves but we are holding out on the other people what we have to offer. When we have the Holy Spirit dwelling in our hearts we have something not everyone else does. Even if someone is a believer they do not always hold the experiences we have personally had.

We need to be active for the kingdom of God. If we do not allow ourselves to be put out there and to be used we could miss someone who needs exactly what the Holy Spirit has instilled in us. When we settle for holding ourselves back so much we are shorting other people.

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than sparrows.

Today, I encourage you to remember God knows the numbers of hair on your head. He knows your anxieties. He knows your fears and your doubts. He sees and He knows this is something hard to do. Trust that you are not alone and go out and breathe hope into someone else’s life. Share what Christ has done for you. Share a trial in your life with someone that is experiencing something similar to your hard times. Remember that you are not alone so you can share with someone else they are not alone either.

When someone tells you “Thank you for your words. I really needed to hear that. You make me feel like there is hope.” you will be so incredibly encouraged!

God is with you. Don’t hold out on someone else that could so desperately need your words, your companionship, and your heart.

8 thoughts on “When We Hold Out On Others

  1. This is a sweet and tender reminder that when we hold back, we could be missing out on something wonderful, and causing someone else to miss out on something good! We should strive to live fearlessly knowing the Lord is on our side. In warm understanding, Tammy from Grandma Mary Martha. I could identify with this post!


  2. This is a very great reminder and encouragement to many people! I am so glad that God showed you this. May it minister to many more!


  3. Love how you shared your heart through this. And how important it is to allow the Holy Spirit to do a work through us as we go forward in faith. Thanks!


  4. I have shared a troubling personal experience with someone who was going through the same thing I had experienced in the past . But I believe she took it the wrong way . I only opened up to her to try to help but it didn’t . It seemed to make things worse for me after that . What do you do when that happens?


    1. This is very much a possibility any time we share with someone and it is not at all pleasant when we do experience this! It is much unfortunate when our heart is misinterpreted. It can be a reminder that we can only influence so much and the rest is up to the receiver of our sharing and then between them and God. This would be a good time to give said person space while continuing to pray for them and submit our own heart to God.

      It reminds me of Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

      We may not understand why someone did not take our sharing the way we intended for them to but we can trust that God understands all and is over all. If we have been obedient to God’s word, we can rest in the fact that we have glorified Him in our heart.

      I hope this helps!


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